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Cams for
Couples
By Deb Levine, M.A.
Sex Educator, Health Educator, Cybersex.
HSAB Affiliation: Professional Advisor.
If you and your partner have ever had fantasies about being part of a
threesome, or being voyeurs or even exhibitionists, a webcam session may
be just the thing for you. Contrary to popular belief, webcams are not
only for individuals; couples can have a blast on either side of the
camera.
Hot monogamy is not a contradiction in terms. If you take the time to
assess your relationship and things are going fine except that the romance
department has slowed down a bit, it may be an opportune time to add
something new to your repertoire. Sometimes you need a little spark to get
your imagination and creativity going in the bedroom. Webcams can be
valuable tools, if you know how to use them to your advantage. The
anonymity associated with cams and computers allows couples to express
themselves in ways they may be too afraid or embarrassed to do
face-to-face. You can explore activities you've only whispered about,
without any fear or shame surrounding them.
Interacting with someone on a webcam can be a great prelude to an evening
of passion. It's easy to imagine caressing each other and getting each
other aroused as you're watching someone else get turned-on on the other
side of the camera. In addition to getting turned-on by looking at someone
else getting turned-on, you may well be able to pick up a few new ideas
for yourselves for later!
You can verbally seduce each other with the person on the other side of
the cam as a witness. It may turn you on to see her or him get jealous, or
be a simple reminder of how sexy you and your partner can be when you're
both hot and committed to arousal. Many couples who have considered a
threesome to be the ultimate turn-on have used the webcam with their
"third" on the other end to explore this fantasy more fully. Couples who
like the idea of a ménage a trois but are uncomfortable living it out in
real life can use this safe situation with a chathost to live out this
fantasy without the jealousy and insecurity that often come along with
experiencing a threesome in real time. Many people are turned on enough by
the idea of talking with their lover about choosing a third so that the
need to do it in person becomes secondary.
If you and your honey are more the exhibitionist types, you can try
finding a person with a cam to tell you what to do. Let's see, maybe the
chathost or hostess is into being dominant and as a couple, you like
submission. Then the host or hostess can dictate your experience, safely
of course, while you and your partner enjoy following directions and the
stimulation that comes along with it. Or if you're really daring, you and
your partner could get a cam yourself and set it up so that others could
watch you. You get the experience of being exhibitionistic without the
risk of doing it in public without the observers' permission. With webcams,
you have anonymity and safety.
What if your partner is not very experimental? It's important to remember
that the two of you are simply exploring your sexual options in a safe way
together online, privately. If your partner has expressed prior reluctance
to try something new, especially associated with the computer, discuss
your cyber-options before you start out. If you're both comfortable using
computers, online experimentation might not be as intimidating as new
face-to-face activities. You can enjoy it together, with the computer
screen as a sort of neutral dividing line to keep things steady.
As always, communication with your partner is key. Instead of cams being a
solo activity that keeps you apart as a couple, join in together and
explore your sexual likes and dislikes so your sex life becomes enriched.
Remember, a short time with your partner online can often be foreplay for
a night of passionate love-making ahead. |
