|
Fantasy,
Imagination and Desire
By Deb Levine, M.A.
Sex Educator, Health Educator, Cybersex.
HSAB Affiliation: Professional Advisor.
Your most important sex organ is your brain. The mind - specifically, your
imagination - is the fuel for deeply satisfying sexual experiences.
Fantasies are thoughts and images you have in your mind and heart. Men and
women who use fantasy as a sexual tool and path to arousal are the most
sexually active folks around. They find the greatest number of different
sexual experiences to be turn-ons, and are comfortable with their
sexuality. Fantasies keep one's imagination fueled and sex life lively.
The world of cybersex is the playground of the imagination. You can live
out your fantasies and fulfill your desire behind the safety of your
computer screen. The main reasons singles and couples say they engage in
cybersex are to feel desired; to explore new realms of sexuality and
overcome inhibitions; to add anticipation and mystery to sexual
encounters; and to experience sexual freedom and push the limits of
personal and societal sexual boundaries.
Online, you can have casual sex or a romantic encounter. You can build
trust and intimacy with another person and explore your own sexuality, or
you can have many brief affairs with a variety of people. You can have
consensual sex without fear of disease or pregnancy. You can explore the
nooks and crannies of your body and awaken your sexuality. And when you're
finished, you can turn off your computer and have real-life sexual
experiences alone or with a partner.
Problems only occur when people confuse fantasy with desire. Fantasies are
best in their true form - in your mind. Many times when people try to
realize their fantasies, jealousy, fear or discomfort keeps one or the
other partner from being satisfied by the experience. Fantasy is best used
to fuel desire - as a method to arousal, as a substitute when you're
single, and as practice for real life experiences. If you end up spending
too much time in your fantasy world, you can end up becoming an escape
artist - escaping from real-life roles and responsibilities. Relationships
in real time - be they work, love or family-related - come first. Your
fantasies support these real-time relationships by allowing you time to
explore, be creative, and let go. |
