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Female
Masturbation Techniques
By Marianne Macy
Sexuality Education.
HSAB Affiliation: Syndicated Contributor.
“If women knew everything there was to know about masturbation, I never
would have made a living teaching it for the past thirty-five years!”
Betty Dodson declares. Dodson’s landmark book, Sex For One, has been an
international bestseller for decades, as have her how-to videos and
workshops. Her 2002 Orgasms for Two: The Joy of Partnersex instructs how
to incorporate masturbation to add to the variety of sex with your
partner.
“LUBRICATION!” she intones, surveying one of her workshop groups who have
bottles of massage oil and lubrication products next to them. “You can
always have another orgasm,” she says, as women often quit at one.
“Lubrication is key.” Adam and Eve, one of the top sex products
catalogues, sells more than twenty different varieties, they are so
popular. The use of a few drops on your genitals will keep things going
instead of you getting sore from friction.
VIBRATORS are another way to enhance masturbation. While many a woman has
shied away from their use, feeling it’s cheating or something (inhibitions
present themselves as shoulds, i.e. “should have sex this way/not that
way/etc.”), vibrators are excellent to masturbate with because they do
exactly what their name suggests and they do it a lot longer than your
hand will without getting tired. What kind should you use? That is highly
individual, as evidenced by two top sellers: the Hitachi Magic Wand, which
is larger and has a head the size of a small golf ball, and Dr. Ruth’s
Erosculator, which (along with similar models) was made by the guy who
invented the electric toothbrush. Guess what they look like? Instead of a
toothbrush you get detachable varying shaped heads that provide different
strokes for different folks. Or try ’em all and experiment.
VARIETY AND EXPERIMENTATION is one of the beauties of what Betty Dodson
really got through to me. I was like most people, yeah, yeah, I know, and
from my teens till my 30s, when I met Betty Dodson, never tried anything
but what I always did. The very idea that you could masturbate using
lubrication so you could experiment longer…which leads to…
BREATHING “Most people start to come and immediately stop breathing,”
Betty says. A lifelong yoga practitioner, she figured out that breathing
deeply while having an orgasm would carry the waves throughout her whole
body, extending the range and power of the orgasm. Try it.
BAR BELLS, DILDOS, INSERTIBLES The muscles in the pelvic floor, when
gripping something, can also support the orgasm by tightening and
grounding it. As many women claim they have better orgasms when penetrated
as those who say they do from clitoral stimulation. It doesn’t have to be
either/or. The use of insertible toys also enhances masturbation.
One way for sure that incorporating masturbation can improve partnersex is
to show your partner what works for you. Having them observe what you do
to yourself for your own arousal can be erotic to watch. If you
concentrate on your own feelings and sensations instead of feeling self
conscious, then it’s erotic for both of you. Couples who have fallen into
a goal oriented way of lovemaking (i.e. rush to orgasm as if it’s the
finish line of a race) lose the pleasure of every step.
Masturbation, and advanced masturbation experimentation a la Dodson,
pushing your range further, can only enhance your capacities as a lover,
as you will understand more about your own and the body’s capacity for
pleasure. |
