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Fetishes: History and
Practice
By Gloria G. Brame, Ph.D., M.P.H.
A good basic working definition for sexual fetishism is when someone is
aroused by an object or part of a body that is not normally considered a
turn-on. If you get incredibly turned on by feet--which are not generally
considered an erogenous zone--you are a foot fetishist. On the other hand,
getting turned on by breasts is normal in our society and does not make
you a fetishist. The exceptions to that would be if you can’t climax
unless you're touching breasts; or if you can only be turned on by an
unusual type of breast (exceptionally large, unusually long, etc.).
But fetishism isn't just about sex. Fetishists experience an emotional,
sometimes spiritual, response to their fetish object. Some feel at their
most alive when in contact with the object of their sexual fascination.
Some fetishists long to worship their fetish, and may even feel more
psychically connected to their fetish objects than to other people. I
compare sexual fetishes to the religious fetishes from whence they derive
their name.
The word fetish originally comes from the Portuguese word, “fetich.” Old
World Portuguese explorers used it to describe the religious relics they
found in tribal cultures. In its original anthropological context, a
fetish was any religious artifact which tribal peoples believed had
magical powers. It wasn't until the 19th century that "fetish" was used to
describe objects that turned people on. When thinking about fetishes, it's
good to remember the history of the term because it helps to understand
the metaphysical reality of fetishes. To the true foot fetishist, feet are
more than feet--they are a key to emotional and erotic gratification.
Literally any part of a body can have appeal to a fetishist. A fetish for
a body part is actually known as "partialism," while "fetish" more
strictly refers to inanimate things, such as materials (e.g., rubber,
latex, lace, fur) or objects (e.g., shoes, hats, gloves, veils, masks,
underwear).
Most people's fetishes are so mild people don't realize they have them.
For example, you may love the smell of leather and its presence adds a
touch of excitement to love-making. You wouldn't be clinically diagnosed
as a fetishist, but you share that universal impulse to be aroused by
something that isn't explicitly sexual. At the other extreme are
fetishists who really cannot achieve peak sexual ecstasy unless their
fetish object is present. For them, intimacy and relationships are
genuinely difficult. The vast majority of fetishists fall in the middle:
they have a strong fetish but can also have satisfying encounters without
the fetish object present.
There is no hard data on how fetishes form. There have been some promising
strides in brain research that may, one day, yield information but, for
now, we depend on theories to explain it. Freudian and neo-Freudian
analysts have suggested that fetishism is a result of sexual shame. At
some early age, a child sees a sexual organ or act and feels so
embarrassed, he fastens his eyes on something else (hair, feet, or
garments), that later becomes his fetish. Others believe that there is a
pivotal event in a fetishist's life (usually in childhood) which
permanently shapes his sexual identity. For example, a toddler sniffs a
pair of feet while crawling and becomes permanently fixated on feet.
My theory is that fetishism is a universal impulse. Deep down, all humans
have the potential to believe that objects possess magical powers or that
material things represent emotional fulfillment. We may snicker when we
hear about someone caught sniffing panties or wearing rubber, but think
about the people (you may be one) who have collections of "stuff." Whether
you collect pictures of Elvis or statues of dragons, it would be hard to
put into words exactly why these things seem so cool to you. Yet you feel
satisfaction knowing you have them and enjoy looking at them. Fetishists
are the same way: only, in their case, they also get sexually aroused by
their stuff. I believe that fetishists were born with a stronger impulse
to fetishize things (just as some people are born with a stronger musical
sense than others) and that this impulse may be galvanized by an early
childhood contact with an object or body part that arouses them. That
first contact probably occurs before the child is even conscious that the
fetish object is sexual. For the child, it is more likely just something
that comforts or fascinates them. In puberty, though, the child may become
aware that contact with the object arouses them, or they find themselves
fantasizing about the object when masturbating. By the time you are an
adult, a fetish is firmly entrenched in your psychology. It's so much a
part of your sexual identity that you would not be yourself without it.
There's no evidence that fetishes can be cured and lots of evidence that
forcing a fetishist to renounce his needs leads to depression and worse.
Fetishes can't be cured because they are not a disease. They are a quirky
or extreme example of a common human behavior but they are not, in and of
themselves, wrong or unhealthy. What does send fetishists into counseling,
though, is the difficulty of growing up as a fetishist in a sex-negative
world. As teens, fetishists usually hide their interests and feel awkward
with members of the opposite sex. How do you tell a girl on a first date,
"I'd love to smell your feet" when she's expecting a good night kiss? As
adults, many fetishists marry partners who are unaware of their kink. This
results in all kinds of problems that I regularly address in my counseling
practice, including wives who feel betrayed because their husbands seem
more interested in their fetish than in them.
A final word on fetishes. After nearly 20 years of exploring kink and
fetishism, and writing about and interviewing hundreds of people, I can
honestly say that one just NEVER knows how many variations exist. Every
time I think I've compiled a comprehensive list of fetishes, someone
emails me about some delightfully unusual new twist. So expect the
unexpected when exploring the world of fetishes. I guarantee you will
always be surprised. |
